Special on Half and Half

August 28, 2013

The clerk at the West Side Grocery store had no clue how much the pint of half and half should be. He asked me if I had bought it before and how much was it the last time. I didn’t have any idea so we made up the price of $1.79 and he counted out the change with a doubtful expression across his heavy, yet obviously youthful face, and doled it out in a clump. We shared a good chuckle and a “Have a great night,” the stranger mathematician and I, as I made my way out the double doors to collect Tyrus. He was tied to the metal pole out front, impatiently waiting for me to return, ignoring the gang of boys smoking and exchanging remarks about this and that. One louder voice comments about the size of the dog, guesses his breed as a tough Pit, another cheerful tone claims Golden, yet another, Yellow Mellow Lab or the brazen and dangerous tone suggests a mixed breed of sorts. Only one man, about a year ago, commented with certainty, that he is a Bull Mastiff. I tell the motley crew that he is a guard dog and leave them hanging.

Two men came to the door with their black tool boxes and extension cords, a drill, Gorilla Glue and various other supplies carted in a plastic Walmart bag, just to piss me off. They came to bang and un-wedge, spray fine dust over the furniture and pets, break a window and depart, with chai tea sloshing around in their bellies. I had to hydrate them or I was afraid they would keel over in the house and be here for days on end. The black moldy spot on the bathroom ceiling is patched over again, not sure how they resolved the mildly functioning stovetop and the shower still runs cold. Claim they will be back tomorrow to finish up.

A few break-in reports are scattered across the neighborhood web page. Someone was hit last night between 10pm and 1:00am, while they were at home, asleep in their beds. The electronics were targeted. Close the windows in the night, the message urged me and my unsuspecting neighbors. Another woman suggested they are moving sooner than later since she discovered the motion-detector lights had been unscrewed from their sockets, most likely in preparation for a hit. It is terrible that people are frightened in their homes. We should feel safe and secure during our REM sleep. I am tired and hope the thieves keep their hands to themselves tonight because I just do not have the patience.