Thursday, February 6, 2014

Death Agreement

February 6, 2014

Imagine having to sign a lease agreement, determining when you will be dying? Mrs. “B”chose an eight month contract, last year, she outlived her nine month signature. She must give a two month notice to vacate and create a list of people who can come and go in her apartment, from that date on. It isn’t enough to decide what precious cargo to leave to whom.

Unbeknownst to me, the doodads I moved around on top of the bureau made it impossible for Mrs. “B” to access the stations on her radio with the remote. The ribs were just undercooked enough that the meat didn’t pull easily away from the bone. The meals I prepared and stored on the top shelf of the frig were too far over to the left for said client to place her water jug to cool. I was “written-up,” once again.  

I have to laugh and complete my pilates, walk daily and eat a lot of chocolate or “someone” would be left, tied to her lift chair with gauze and medical tape across her mouth. Watching “Nurse Jackie’s” wrath gives me plenty of ideas for revenge. The only problem is- the simple fact that I am the solo caregiver, aside from the family. Cops would show up at my house, knowing I am the only suspect, haul me away, and throw away the key. I assume a friend would be willing to bring me a cake with a hidden knife. I would do the same for you. That’s what friends are for.

No comments:

Post a Comment