Age Old Story

March 12, 2013

Happy Birthday Seppo!

Fresh homemade orange swirl cake and French rolls from the bakery sit prettily on the organized breakfast table, rich coffee prepared in the pot, mango jelly, sweet butter, powdered milk in the can, and silverware perched on the folded napkin. Who will prepare all of this for me when I arrive home? No, I have not taken any of this for granted!

Wow, boy energy is sooo different than girls. They run around like wound-up toys, flop around on the couches, cry at the drop of a hat for reasons unknown, provoke one another, viciously smack, spew grape juice all over grandma’s white blouse and hide under the pillow to suck their thumbs (hated to share with the parents that I sucked my thumb until the first grade!) as well as succumbing to cuddles, kisses and extended sweets from the crowd of admirers. From the farm in October to this particular apartment, I have been exposed to boys. I wonder what gender my grandchild/children will be!

Two more than full-time working parents (Fa left the house at 3:45 this morning, Katia at 6:30 and will arrive after 7:30pm,) two complete sets of grandparents, a great grandma, one capable nanny and a jolly maid, a handful of various subject teachers, and swimming and karate instructors all manage the complicated care of these two young lads.

The baba is asking me what I am writing about, I tell her my story is generally about family relationships and the fact that things are slowly changing here in Brasil, especially in this enormous city. I go on to explain how the children and elders are usually physically separated from one another. Families spread across the country or perhaps worlds apart. Children back home go to school generally from 9-2:30 and sometimes have after school activities but not a full-time babysitter like her. I could only describe the daycare facilities, home care and after school programs and cost from a million years ago when I was the single mother of a little girl. Carolina is incredulous!

There are already several nursing homes in the city of Sao Paulo and surrounding area and it is a swiftly growing industry, unfortunately. Oodles of medications and a longer lifespan increase the accountability of family care. What would have been a shocking shift in elder care will soon sadly become run-of-the-mill.

Hit the Mall again, thinking I would surprise my darling daughter with a purse, after a long walk in the sun, thru the dangerous shady streets of the favella and asking a gazillion people, I found the Shopping Center! Close inspection of the purse revealed a “Made in China” label and the fabric is a darned close to leather polyester! Toured the Mall since I had made the treacherous journey, risking my life and self-doubt and ended up with a magazine. Wow, made it home alive!

The favella looks like cardboard boxes stacked on top of one another, thin clothes lines strung over slabs of concrete with shirts, shorts and well-worn socks hanging in despair. Faded and stained couches, spring-less chairs and mostly black strewn garbage bags cover the sidewalks so I had to skirt into the street. Young teens rambled along since there are two gigantic schools along the main streets, yelling and kids noises drifting from the concrete buildings with high walls and prison-like sinisterly energy. I startled as a man came up behind me then passed around my body, clomping in barely-holding-it-together black clumps resembling shoes. I felt badly, probably looked like I was going to jump outta my pasty white skin yet he didn’t even glance in my direction. The women trudging up the hill once I arrived in the safe, rich neighborhood were clearly maids on their way home from a day of eat-off-the-floor sanitizing, toothbrush-in-the-gaps cleaning, questionable cooking, piles of used-just-once laundry, chasing after little to big children and getting in a cell  phone call or two in between long desperate breaths.

My feet are perched up on the suede sofa and I am thinking about motivating and getting the ice cream out of the freezer. It has been calling my name since I left the Shopping Mall.