Green Card

March 6, 2013

In steamy March of 1999 Taelor and I took a seventeen hour non-air conditioned bus trip with the rapid-fire speaking locals to Foz do Iguaçu that touches Argentina, Paraguay, Uruguay and Brasil. We brought plenty of snacks, liquids, pillows and a blanket (which we actually fought over through the long chilly night) and spoke our spattered Portuguese, sharing food with those big brown-eyed gentle folk. We were on a mission to renew our Visas since being denied more time in the country by the Brasilian officers at the Federal Police Station in Florianopolis. In order to stay for another six months my choices were to:

1. marry a Brasilian
2. locate a company that was willing to be financially accountable for us
3. have a baby by a Brasilian
4. leave the country and request more time from their officials

The Falls are incredible and were well worth the trip. I met the friend of a friend at a café in Uruguay who escorted us to the Federal Police Station. The officer who tended to us had gone to Miami the year before to visit his brother. With a sneer he told his story to us rich and fortunate North Americans. He was met at the arrival gate by two burly officers who ceremoniously cuffed his hands and feet together and put him on the next plane back to Uruguay. In language I am fearful to repeat, under no uncertain terms would he grant us more time on our Visa. Onto Argentina!

Crossed the border to the next FPS prior to arrival I encouraged Taelor to appear thoroughly despondent and absolutely pitiful. Despite her acting capabilities, I believe the Uruguayan officer made a detailed phone call on the Bat Phone since the Argentinean instantly, firmly and flatly refused our request without justification. Paraguay bound!

This time I was in near tears considering we would have to live like fugitives and may need to change our names living sans a Witness Protection Program. The Captain was abruptly called in to the small sterile room as I was beside myself, he snubbed us as well. I then bent on knee and asked him if he was single and wanted to get married. That broke the ice and everyone (all men) fell into laughter yet remained firm to rebuff our request.

Back to Foz do Iguaçu for a picnic and a visit to the zoo before boarding the bus home. It is a fabulous zoo and I had a long conversation with the parrots behind the fence. One perched on the fence, I recall and tipped it’s head to be scratched. Taelor was impressed by my quick taming skills. Once I had a sole proprietorship called Bird Brains!

In the end I met and married a Brasilian of Italian descent and was awarded a CPF card which gave me the freedom to work and live here without having to glance over my shoulder at every turn. Mauricio and I enthusiastically jumped through the numerous hoops to prove our legitimate marriage. It was actually much like the “Green Card” film. The police came unannounced to our house, interviewed the neighbors, thoroughly searched the premises for both sets of clothing, toothbrushes and contraception. He even asked Taelor a number of questions about my hubby. We had separate interviews at the Police Station downtown. The painstaking inquisition included questions such as what unique markings the other had on their body, what side of the bed we each sleep on, what time the other goes to work, what my maiden name is, what his mother’s name is, where the other grew up, what mutual friends we have, etc. Mauricio recounted his meeting together with the Sergeant was mostly a casual chat about this, that and the other. I suspect he is gay since Mauricio’s interview lasted over an hour and mine about twenty minutes! Our friends were pulled into the picture as well and asked umpteen questions about our relationship. They seemed satisfied by the photos we presented of the Justice of the Peace wedding and subsequent celebratory party.

The law states I cannot leave the country for more than two years time so after ten long years away, our marriage is now unfortunately null and void. Each time I enter the country I have to apply for a new Visa.

The United States of America never acknowledged our marriage. So, yes, I am single.