Horrible Horace

December 18, 2013

     My assignment is to write a Christmas story under seven hundred words, within thirty minutes:

Horace is saddled with his five year old daughter for Christmas this year. He inevitably works his sister then, mother, and when all else fails, his little rat of a brother, Stephen, to accept Josephina into their homes for a day or two, while he presumably scrambles for work to pay off his divorce debt, back child support and his snake charmer lawyer. In truth, he usually holes up in his fifth wheel, playing video games and gambling with the guys.

Driving home from the tool and die company where he works as a machinist, Horace catches sight of a white cat, black splotched across its head, skulking along the road, crossing, stopping, seemingly judging the driver’s compassion, before continuing onto the sidewalk. He grinned in admiration for its survival instincts, living outdoors in sub-zero weather, making it in the world. The question arose in his mind whether he had what it takes to thrive in the wilderness, alone and unprotected.

The first plea is to Candace, his baby sister, number uno on his speed dial. He drops his leather jacket on the worn plaid sofa and pushes the button with confidence. Candace adores Josephina but has three sons of her own that take up far too much of her time, needing to be carted from one sports event, part-time jobs, meals out with friends, the Mall or any other lame excuse to push their mom around. Horace jumps into his perfect solution for the both of them, by offering to drop off Josephina, pay for all of the kids to go to the movies, and he will pick them all up afterwards. Candace cuts her older sibling off before he gets three words out. She assures Horace that she would love to have Josephina come for the holidays but she and the family are all headed up to Truckee for a ski weekend at her best friend, Rhonda’s new boyfriend Chet’s perfect lakeside chalet. Sorry!

Horace jumps off the phone as though it is a time bomb and rings his mother. She is always complaining about her swollen legs, sore throat, throbbing back, or some other deadly ailment that will keep Josephina away from her house. Damn, he can hear her moaning before she even answers the phone! He cradles the cell on his shoulder and prepares for the whine. No answer. Without hesitation, and not without some relief, he hits number three, Stephen.

Stephen had much better luck with his high school sweetheart, Rosie. They have a house in Eldorado Hills, a membership to the Country Club, where Horace is currently banned from entering the bars, any of the restaurants, and the outdoor pool area, including the patio, and array of parking lots. Hard to get past feeling a bit smug about that incident. His brother always plays hard to get and in the end, usually can’t take the pressure, and he gives-in with a lot of fuss. Horace has his card ready. He bought tickets to the Kings, Stephen’s favorite team, and will gift them to his agreeable babysitting brother when the time is ripe.

Stephen lets the cell phone ring into voicemail. He got the phone call from Candy, the moment she hung up with Horace. He can play the game well too. Horace glances out the window during the recorded message and sees, much to his astonishment, a white cat with black blotches sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. It stopped, watching a sizeable dog approaching, its owner creeping far behind. The apparent canine attendee sees the cat and appears to call the dog, distracting it. As the pup turns to follow the owner’s direction, the feline continues down the cleared path.

The recorded message stopped and Horace left word that he is on his way over with Josephina, and she will be spending the night with Stephen and his family. She is, in fact, so looking forward to spending Christmas with Kelley and the rest of her awesome cousins.