January 20, 2014
Lying comes very easily to me. When I was young, I told my friends I had
a dog. When they came over to my house, wanting to see the pet, I suggested my dad
had taken it to work that day or the Cuddle Bug was visiting a farm to get some
extra exercise, he was in the basement sleeping, or some other implausible solution.
Later on, it was about my late term paper, why my parents weren’t at the basketball
game, or excuses as to why I didn’t have a date for the Prom. These days it is mostly
about the reply to “How are you doing?” Just as deep and revealing as the fact that
I forgot to feed Joe and Josephine, the gerbils, when I was ten, and they died.
When I am willing and capable of being true to me, I understand my situation
can be different. If I stay in the premise that I want someone’s life to be touched
because they know me, then I realize my lying will cease. Since nothing else matters,
I do not have to cover up what is missing, that I don’t feel good enough, and sweeping
the truth of my insecurities under the table, beneath the rug, only hurts me.
Why is it all this time, I have wanted more for others than for my Self.
Now, I understand that, if I am a better person this morning than I was yesterday,
I am in a more Spiritual place, I’m growing, I have value, I am happy, and forgave
(not forgotten) someone who has wronged me. Those are things to be honest about.
What are you lying about?
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