Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Sorry Loss



January 7, 2014

This morning, I discover, a woman I categorized as one of my only enemies, living on the other side of the planet, is struggling with ovarian cancer. It has spread to her lymph nodes, and despite an extensive surgery on the 2nd, she is actively dying. I sent a short heartfelt message to her on Facebook, desperate to find the words to describe how I am feeling; jittery and unkempt, sad and bitter all rolled-up in a huge ball of love, tenderness, anger, frustration, that I want to hurl into the bitter cold, to disappear into the vast dead-white clouds in the horizon.

I cannot possibly hate her any longer, it is improbable to continue the façade of distaste and uncontrollable ill will when I know she is suffering, dying, fearful, sword fighting loss, and leaving loved ones behind (her daughter is a few years younger than Taelor and they were best of friends for four years.)

The common enemy is now bargaining, death, sickness, dying, grief, loss, depression, tremendous pain, fear, anger, avoidance, denial, anger, and acceptance. We all wish it wasn’t so, that death is not the end, that we could maintain our lives for ever and ever, amen. And it just isn’t so.

"Sophy:

I just heard about your ill health and situation with cancer. Despite the past, and all of the complications, I want to reach out to you to say, I am sorry. Sorry for your prognosis, sorry for your family and friends, husband, and perfect soul. I hope you are pain-free, can experience joy and lucidity each and every day, in your time left on the planet, however long that is.
I pray you find comfort in the love and compassion you deserve.
Be well, my friend,

Paula"

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