Call Oprah!

May 15, 2013

Whirling off into wild dreams about hideous nurses in powder blue scrubs and echoing clogs barreling down on me with exceedingly long thick needles is unnerving. The medical team’s assurance of powerful tingling and a strong darting sensations up and down my lower leg, as the pain block wore off, never came to fruition. No pain nor discomfort though I have been religious about taking narcotics and muscle spasm meds every four hours, setting the timer throughout the night. Stomach is churning but no number two yet so prunes, prunes, prunes are on the menu! The darned stool softeners are not kicking in. Aren’t you amused I “tell all?”

Farting around (no pun intended!) has never been my forte so these days of innocuous conversation with myself is difficult. Leg alarmingly high above my heart, succumbing to dozing off now and again, scanning a novel, practicing my questionable texting skills and staring out at the top of the willow out back makes for a week-long day. All pets are in the little room with me, hiding my pill bottles and sucking on the plastic bags. One cat in particular should be on that television program about weird habits. She also howls in strange murmuring tongue when she is about to vomit. Perhaps the critters assume I need the companionship and realize if they left me alone I would go flying off the handle.  

Decided it is time for me to work on putting this blog in order and getting it into book format. I believe we are all six people from someone important like the President. So, if anyone knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows Oprah, please forward their contact information! Ms Winfrey is an incredible Master at bringing authors to light. Since I am way down in the bowels of the tunnel of the unknowns I need all of the search and rescue help I can get!

If you hear consistent disconcerting burbles from a faraway place, have no fear, it is my stomach.