Sunday, May 5, 2013

Rescued from myself



May 4, 2013

Lost miserably at Rummikub and the good/bad thing is, I am getting used to it so the  frustration and upset level is decreased. I am no longer turning into a miserable drunk and acting disorderly when that happens! Not really. Perhaps just far too many bon bons and tea to drown my sorrows, a down-turned mouth and crappy attitude. Yes, I am very competitive! Now I just revel when I don’t loose by more than a few thousand points.

Tyrus seemed despondent and agitated when I left, relayed my caretaker friend. I know he is anxious since I am tweaking my life and the stakes are high to prepare for the long foot surgery recovery. He was fidgety and visibly distressed. I need him with me, to be my companion, confidant, share popcorn and movies on Friday date nights and sometimes get me out of bed in the early mornings.

Too many hours sorting out my limited options leads to restlessness and irritability. Discovered my sensation of loss and fear creeping in left me stunned and accepting the preference of isolation and entrapment. Although the perfectly quaint brownstone building on Powderhorn Park with a darling eclectic charming and furnished third floor sublet apartment provided a convenient and seemingly best solution I realized, while discussing the details with a great and patient friend, I would be sadly alone and accepting stuck. Struggling down several flights of stairs, perhaps even resorting to crawling or scooting backwards, it would be traumatic and desperate just to get to the wind in my face and sun at my back…or something like that.

So, I am back to the duplex I adore in West St Paul which has ample room for Taelor, Tyrus, a lovely back yard, open and friendly homes (hopefully the residents mimic the facades) and a nearby gigantic park to ramble around in. An immediate move is incredibly daunting yet that is exactly what I dreamed about, wished for, pined after. A scramble to get everything sorted and put together prior to next Monday’s surgery is insane.

The new and improved landlord is amenable to meeting me with cash in hand to sign the lease while the loaded running truck is waiting to be emptied. What a guy!

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