Tornado tester

May 1, 2013

A booming siren went off just as I dialed the number for my mock sales pitch to a man with a Phoenix number and impatient drawl. When he yowled about the noise I blurted out “it must be the police after me!” What an idiot I am! A hideous giggle spewed from me as I dodged around for further explanation. Who knew the test tornado alarm was to go off at this inopportune time? I managed to turn the conversation around to the script and set the appointment only to find out later in the day they want me to set up a “do over.” Oh well, at least I get another chance! This time I will keep the police out of the mix.

I feel like a firm pressed piece of tofu, relatively more relaxed and much less inflamed on my left side since my good friend Kaitlin did some cranio-sacral magic on my body. It appears to her that I have been holding the fear and trauma from my fall in the pit of my stomach. My gut churned out bubbles and chortled so loudly I could hear its rumble. The brunt of the tumbling impact settled in my left knee so that is where she focused her healing attention. My exaggerated limp from yesterday has, for the most part, disappeared.

Dodging the rain/snow/wet with a fake fur jacket strapped like a damp animal on my back as I scurry across the streets of South Minneapolis to have a conversation with the acupuncturist about marketing her services. I felt confident and brilliant while encouraging this pretty lady, loose-curled hair framing her face, bright inquisitive eyes, heartening and warm smile that expressed her full attention, to use my skills. I will put together a triumphant proposal by early next week. I count on this being one of a number of lucrative contracts with alternative healthcare providers. I am so looking forward to settling-in a place to call home with some concrete financial security.

Completed a “Drive By” at the first apartment complex, after my rambling ‘round a number of detours and following the trusty GPS woman. Just isn’t my cup of tea neighborhood so I pulled a “U” turn and headed down 94 to meet up with Jason who explained he and the other interested couple were outside since the bathroom contractor inadvertently took the house key home with him. Eventually he arrived with the key ring and I declared “You’re fired!” as he approached the house.

We entered the compact duplex as a clump with high expectations. I did not see much in terms of redeeming qualities yet the couple who arrived with me were thrilled. At least Jason didn’t waste his precious time, dressed up in his black pressed jeans with the belt a bit too tight and waste spilling out from the sides of his blue plaid shirt. He wears thick black glasses that make his dark brown eyes boggle like a frog. He was plenty friendly and chatty, even kind enough to inform me he and his partner have another rental coming up in July. I left, dispirited and with plenty on my mind as I waved goodbye pleased the young, tall, red-cheeked man and his bride were signing the paperwork of commitment.

Good on ‘em!