Worlds Apart

November 25, 2012

The direct simplicity with which Solange offers herself is astonishing. Nearly every day I am graced with her unconscious glorious ample smile and generous spirit. The charm she vigorously presents to the world, in a jumbled variety of attire, is unbound. I will send her a card that includes the following, for I doubt she has had much opportunity in her life to receive correspondence via the post office. Neither she nor Marquinhos were certain of their address.

Solange:

You are the bright glowing hearth on Sitio Caaete. I cannot tell you just how much it means to me every day that you ‘round the corner…”Oi Paulinha” (even the reference to Little Paula leaps at my heart) and ask about ME, prior to inspecting my ankle and comment enthusiastically despite the barely distinguishable improvement nowadays. Forever positive and undeniably cheerful even when the smile became a bit crooked and didn’t extend to your eyes as you fretted over Marcio’s desertion to Sao Paulo. The extraordinary gift of a colorful pair of GG panties you presented this morning means so much since I realize it could have meant another pound of beef for the family janta. The “cards” torn from a lined tablet of paper written in strong block letters alongside the design of flowers and trees in bold red pen are endearing and lovely..with the passage from the bible. I am eternally in your debt and am forever altered because of our connection.

Um abraco enorme,

Paulinha

I am not in the same world I was before 10/19. To be the keeper of a solemn secret is no easier than it sounds. Each staggered step has catapulted me into a surreal unstable life and I simply cannot find a way to return. Once I was convinced utopia is Brasil. I was so desperately eager to leave North America, speak for the time being fragmented Portuguese and be with whom I considered some of my kindred souls. Not without some turbulent trepidation, of course, yet that also made it all the more special, unique and precious. My friends and family expressing their fondness for me and well wishes caught me off guard. Few showed despondency or fear…until that fateful Friday. In my hunger for more depth of feeling and spirit I have arrived at this boiling point. Where to next is the poignant question I do not have the answer to yet I am certain it is movement whether sideways, forward or tumbling backwards, movement nonetheless.